The Blocks Beneath The Blocks

Mindset doesn't work, at least not on it's own and here's why

The blocks beneath the blocks, sounds cryptic right?

Everything I do is about energy and I believe everything is energy. So when you keep that in mind, everything you do in life - in business, in relationships - if you're not making progress and getting where you want to go, you have two options. You could work on the surface level, which is the mindset, part of it. Or you can go deeper, because under every block that we think we have, that we try to rationalise, that we try to outsmart out-think, that we create affirmations and mantras for, there is a deeper energetic block that is causing that surface level block - the blocks beneath the blocks.

So I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, mindset doesn't work.

At least not on its own.

Bear with me, because it's touted as the missing link for a lot of business owners, and you'll hear people say "oh, you know, your mindset is not right" "you need to apply yourself" "you need to implement", "all you need to do is create a vision board and say some affirmations and, you know, reframe things".

There's often this undertone that you haven't done "the work", that if you're not getting traction, then your mindset is off.

And it could not be further from the truth.

The deeper truth is that the blocks that we try to shift with mindset are at the level of the mind, they're cognitive, cerebral, we think them, we say them to ourselves a lot of the time - you might experience this as self talk like "why can't I just get my stuff together?" "Why is so and so better than me?" "Why didn't I write that email? What's wrong with me? Why can't I make this work?" Blah, blah, blah.

The problem there is that the mind is governed by whether or not you feel safe, in any given moment. Safe to go ahead and do the thing that you say you want to do and haven't done yet. Be that person. Take steps to lose the weight. Ask the person out. Whatever it is; whether it's life or business.

The mind is governed solely by your amygdala which is your threat detection center. So if you're thinking about doing something like Marketing, there's maybe a little bit of discomfort with it. Because we are marketing ourselves, when we are in the intuitive type space, in the healing space. We're selling our gift. It's very personal.

It's not like we've got a batch of 50,000 gonks that we're going to sell at Christmas time and if they don't sell, then we sell them next year. No biggie, right? It doesn't mean anything about you.

The thing with this type of stuff is that if we want to bring in five new clients, we have to market ourselves. So we have to do whatever it is we choose to do - whether that's website and SEO, search engine optimization, whether that's blogging and writing articles, whether that's a podcast, whether that's being all over socials and repurposing content, whether that's getting in front of getting in front of other people's audiences with affiliates and bundles and doing guest experts.

If it doesn't matter what the action is, if you think about doing that thing, taking that action, and your brain thinks "Oh, that's not safe". It could be for myriad reasons. You will not take the action.

Then you'll likely berate yourself. Oh yeah. The self flagellation doesn't go away. But there's a deeper reason. It's not because you can't get your sh*t together. It's not because you're crap. It's not because you don't know enough. It's not because that last marketing program was rubbish. It's none of those things.

It's because you've got underlying fears about not being safe.

One of the biggest things that I come across with business owners - particularly again in the coaching and healing space - is that they've tried something before and it didn't work out.

Now that actually has a name; it's called Goal Trauma.

When we try something, and we literally move heaven and earth to make it work, even to the point of sacrificing or damaging health / relationships, losing time with loved ones, whatever it is, we tried our damnedest and it didn't work out the way we wanted it to... we take an unconscious vow in that moment to never be that vulnerable again, because it hurts because it's painful, because it's heartbreaking.

And we make it mean something about us in that moment, and we carry that forward, that goal trauma. So, when we then put our sights on something in the future, and we think "right, I need to do this, this and this", the back of the brain kicks in, because last time we did it, you got really hurt and we're not going to do that again.

So it's not because of the surface level stuff that lives in the front of our minds, and comes out as self talk and self flagellation - "My coach was crap, I didn't have to spend enough on Facebook ads" - it's the underlying energetics of it. You simply do not feel safe going in that direction.

And so when you think about it, mindset isn't the answer, in and of itself. If you combine mindset and energetics, then you've got a really powerful toolkit.

Then add in the strategy and all of the stuff that underpins a successful business like the automations etc. We need a strategy. We need the mindset. But if you do mindset, without energetics, as Margaret Lynch, one of my former mentors said, it's like putting frosting on a mouldy brownie. So or if you're in the UK, icing on a mouldy cake.

So energy work, or working at that energetic level, is the only thing that's going to shift the vice-like grip that all of the mind based stuff has on you.

And it's why you can't move forward.

Maybe you find yourself getting stuck in busy work - that's the freeze response. So you might feel busy, you might be making lists and tinkering with the website, changing your messaging, again. It's all because you don't feel safe going after it.

Perhaps because the last time you pivoted your message, it didn't work, it flopped. With all the love in the world, we're not going to run towards pain, right? So your brain is just trying to keep you safe.

But until you get in at the energetic level, you're not going to get the traction that you want, - ask me how I know.

Because I spent years wasting my time until I learned this.

So I'm going to leave you with this - it's really important that if you don't know what's underneath those blocks, you can ask yourself a really important question. And that question is this -

"If thinking about this thing that I want to do reminds me of something I've done before, that didn't work or that went horribly wrong, what would that be?"

That would identify the Goal Trauma, then if you ask yourself the second question - "what am I making this mean about me?".

I invite you to journal around what comes up for you.

Next week, you will hear me talking about a little bit about fear of failure and fear of success, because I'm going to talk about contrast.

It's a really, really important concept to grasp and it's at the basis of everything I do.

If we cannot tolerate the contrast, and the feeling of contrast, or duality, that is all around us and that the universe is made out of, we're always going to be bound up by not just the blocks beneath the blocks, but the discomfort of with the contrast as well.

Okay, so ask yourself those two questions - "If this reminded me of something that's been before, what would it be?" And "What am I making this mean about myself?"

Once you answer those two questions, you'll get to the root, and the root of most things is I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I'm not lovable. There's something fundamentally wrong with me.

I'm not saying that's the truth, but those are the core wounds, the core beliefs, that we develop from childhood, from conditioning, from family patterns.

Which means there's a bonus third question for you - "Is this fear or resistance even mine?"

Sometimes it's a family thing. "Well, my mom's always anxious", or my dad's always anxious, or my grandma was always anxious - just know that it might not be yours.

If you know how to tap, then you can go ahead and use tapping to clear all of those things and how you feel about having all of those feelings and beliefs that are shown when you answer the 3 questions.

If you are not confident in Tapping on your own, maybe you're not sure what to say, I invite you to journal around it. Answer those three questions, expand it a little bit, and then just tap on the side your hand while you read it back out loud. It's the easiest way I found to do it.

I really hope this helps you. And I look forward to speaking to you next week. When we talk about being contrast bound. I'll see you then.

Categories: : Business Growth, Coaching, Emotional Health, Energy Work